It’s Not You, It’s Me

Look, we’ve had some amazing times together. You’ve helped give me insight into the lives of those I know and love (and even those I don’t know, but we’ll keep that between us). You’re always asking me what I’m doing or how I am feeling; helping me put my best self on display. Although, sometimes you don’t stop me from breaking my filter and having an all out whinge. Which you should, because, lets face it, me whining is not very becoming.

So, it has come to this, Facebook. We’ve come to that inevitable fork in the road and we will part ways at the end of this week. I have uninstalled you from my phone and started to make sure I have my dearest and nearest’s up to date contact information. Come Friday, I will deactivate you.

This isn’t to say I won’t be back. For now it is the best thing I can do for me. I have found myself spending most nights staring at you, wondering what my friends are doing. It isn’t healthy.

You have become my social life. I can’t remember when I last actually went out with my friends. That’s not to say I haven’t tried. More and more I would text my friends and ask them if they wanted to catch up over coffee, only to be told that they were busy or to check in another time. Both of which are fair responses.

But I started to notice, some time ago, that my friends were expecting me to see their status updates as us “catching up”. I’d send a text asking the good old, “Hey, how’ve you been?” only to log onto you, Facebook, minutes later and see that they’ve been out to lunch with their mum, who is visiting and their boyfriend proposed! I’d never get a reply to a text asking “How are you?”

I know that’s a silly example, as with things like proposals, it is impossible to tell everyone in person, so a mass text replaced the newspaper announcement, and now you, Facebook seem to have replaced the mass text message. And look out if you don’t “like” that life event. That makes you a bad friend.

It is the politics that I won’t miss. Or the incredibly lonely feeling that you, Facebook, have brought out in me. After reading something as glorious as a proposal or pregnancy announcement on Facebook  I’d try to catch up with those people to celebrate in person. It would get planned, but never actually happen. So the next time I logged in, I would see photos of these people out at lunch with other engaged friends or hanging out with their new found “mummy friends”, I’d feel hurt (not hurt enough, though to then air my dirty laundry all over my wall).

I don’t want that. I do think that ignorance is bliss. So I would very much like to think that when I have made lunch plans with a friend and they get cancelled the day of, that we will catch up “some other time”, and know that I won’t be logging on to Facebook to see who or what they have done instead. I won’t miss the gossip or snarkiness or oversharing that you brought out in my friends, either.

Life will be simpler and I know I will be surrounded with those that do care and that I care about. If there is something I want to know about them, I will just ask and make more of an effort, instead of stalking them online.

I very much look forward to this breath of fresh air. Thank you, Facebook, for the good times. I will admit, when my ego needed inflating, you did a pretty smashing job most of the time, but it is time for me to come back down to Earth and join the real people.

With love,